The straight guy

This is kinda killing me and I don’t really want to be stressing about it anymore. But on Saturday night, I went down on a straight guy. It was the weirdest thing. Like we were chatting and all was swell. Then we were in the bathroom showing each other our cocks. Then we were both touching each others cocks and then I was down with his dick in my mouth. It didn’t really last much longer than that but it was really weird. Think he is a little freaked by it, but not totally. I feel horrible cause his girlfriend was outside and it was her birthday party. He just wanted to try some stuff out. I think he is just interested in having a go at being with a guy, not that he wants a relationship or anything like that, just wants to see what it is all about. Anyway, it is playing on my mind and I don’t want to tell anyone because I feel bad and if he girlfriend finds out it would be hella worse for him. But just writing it here to get it all out of my system. Hopefully. And I am just hopeful that this will stop me from blurting it out when I am drunk to housemate.

And no, this one was not a dream. This one be real!

Australian Idol

Last night I was living back at my parents house. My sister and I were sitting around watching TV and I think kind of playing the piano at the same time. We were in the living room in front of the heater which is kind of a little nook of the lounge room. At the back wall of the nook there is usually a book case and some cupboards, but last night there was a couch and who should be sitting in it, but Anthony Callea, the Australian Idol finalist. He was, of course, wearing his usual jeans, sleeveless hoody over a t-shirt and he did look cute.

So I went and sat down over the other side of the lounge room and just sat down and started talking to Anthony, asking him how long he would be staying with us? He was leaving for Sydney on Friday. How come he picked Perth? It is a good place to chill out before the big finals night of Idol. And then I was telling some friends, that yeah Anthony was at my house, we were old friends. As I was talking to Anthony there was some definite flirting going on, mostly on his part, but some on mine. But pretty soon, he got a bit arrogant about it all and kind of started to ignore us all and wander round the house.

My sister was still playing the piano, so I walked up and leant on it to talk to her. At this point it was no longer a keyboard, but a baby-grand piano with a candelabra on it. At this point my dad came out of the kitchen and asked if any of us wanted toast? I said I would and Anthony had come back in and said he would like some, said it was good for his voice especially if we had lemon butter. I told him I had one better, lemon and carrot marmalade. So we both had a piece of both and that was the end of the dream.

SJF.

More weird ass dreams.

What is with me and all these crazy dreams? Last night I had all these vivid dreams again. Maybe my sleep paterns are changing with this new health kick and exercise regime I am on.

First one I can’t really remember but I do know that my ex died somehow and it was really full on. I woke up during the night and wanted to talk to him, but I think I fell back to sleep when I realised calling your ex at 3 in the morning is probably not such a good idea.

The second dream is far more memorable as it was the inauguration of the US president (Bush the dumb ass) and it was being held in Perth. I think to avoid the threat of terrorists. So it was on this massive oval and me and my family were over the far end of the oval wondering if we should go and have a look. I thought it would be a historical moment as it’s not everyday a US president is inaugurated in Perth and we should get a closer look.
But before we had the chance to head closer they did a fly-by of all these US airforce planes. There must have been thousands of them and it was really spectacular because they were only little planes and they would turn and the sun would reflect of them differently but all uniformly like when you see a flock of birds. But this was the whole sky covered in these planes.
This must have been the cue the terrorists were waiting for and they ran out from behind us with guns and stood on the oval shooting at these planes. There was not a large group of them, maybe only 15-20 and they had not hit any planes when my Mum ran out from us and stood in front of the men and told them all to stop the shooting and was yelling and pleading with these terrorists. She thought that she was standing in front of the whole group, but in fact one behind her saw her and at point blanc range, shot her in the back of the leg. She went straight down and the terrorists dispersed quickly. Actually, the whole crowd for the inauguration dispersed and the oval was empty in a matter of seconds.
I ran up to my Mum and tried to carry her, but I couldn’t manage on my own. Over the other side of the oval was a hospital so I ran as fast as I could to get there to get some help. When I got to the hospital it was as if no one knew what had happened so I was just screaming the place down and balling my eyes out. The only help I could get was to get a stretcher and I was carrying it out of the hospital when I bumped into my Dad who said he wouldn’t help carry the stretcher and that I should just get a wheel chair. So I had to run back through the hospital, find the same people to swap the stretcher for a wheel chair and then get out of there. The dream finished at this point.

There was another dream, but the details again are hazy. I know it involved my flatmates boyfriend using my stuff... not really much of a dream as it happens in real life. But I was really getting stuck into my flatmate and her boyfriend. Something that I am almost ready to do. Think I am going to either have to have some serious words or move out. He is so creepy. Just sneaks around the house when we go to bed and god knows what he does. That is aside from the fact that he is there at least 4 nights a week and most of the days (more time than I am even at home) and doesn’t help with bills, cleaning, rent or stuff like toothpaste, toilet paper, tissues, all of which he uses. Driving me bonkers.

Weird Freaken Dreams

Whoah, so this morning I start having the weirdest dreams and fully vivid as anything.

Dream number one involved me laying on a couch with Kylie Minogue and Olivier Martinez and my Swedish friend. So anyway, Kylie basically gave me and the Swede free rein to do what we liked to Olivier. So we got his pants off and he was wearing the tiniest jockstrap you have ever seen in your life. Kind of really unattractive and really small. So me and the Swede take it down to find Olivier has the tiniest penis I have ever seen in my life. We were hell disappointed cause he is a hot guy, but anyway. We kind of ignored him from there and moved onto doing stuff just with each other.

Dream number two which kind of overlapped with dream number three started with, of course, me being best mates with Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha from ‘Sex and the City’ but of course they were all real and Carrie had just told me that she was moving to Paris and I was helping her pack and clean out her apartment. We ended up just sitting near the new kitchen (she showed me the renovations of when she broke up with Aidan and had taken over the two apartments to make one) just chatting away to the girls when the phone rings… but first dream three.

So dream three began with me leaving my actual house in the car but being blocked off cause one of the other tenants had left a mattress and bedding in the middle of the driveway, leaning up against the wall, but the mattress was sticking out so far that it was impossible for me to get my car out. I tooted the horn for a good thirty seconds in anger and just after I had stopped and was sitting in my car thinking of what to do next to get out of there a police car with it lights on comes down the driveway at me. At first I was thinking that I was going to get into trouble for tooting my horn for so long, like as if the police had just driven past and heard me. But no, I had to back my car back into a carpark to get out of the policemen’s way and when I got out of the car over to the right underneath a balcony there was a heap of people gathered around and a bit of smoke coming out of the sliding door from one of the townhouses. So that was the real reason the police were there. On closer inspection and talking to the other people who were standing around, and they were actual people that live there. I was mainly talking to the girl from Fresh Provisions. Turns out, the girl she lives with was standing to close to the gas tank for the bird cage (it was a dream remember) and the thing leaked and spilt its oil over her and she is basically charcoal on the outside now because she got burnt so badly, but they do think that they can save her.
Happy with that I am somehow back at Carrie’s house, back in the kitchen chatting to the girls when the phone rings and who should it be? Of all people, Christina Applegate (and I even had to do a Google search just then to find out what her name is). So she is on the phone to me trying to sort all this really cool stuff out to make me feel better about seeing the burnt girl and Carrie leaving town. Like the kind of trouble a celebrity seems to go to for a kid with Cancer when they are on the publicity hunt. I keep telling her no and that it is all too much, but this just makes her keep going and I hear her on the other end of the phone yelling to someone that she wants him to book out an LA Lakers match. I tell her that is really unnecessary, so she cans that idea but still insists I take her offer of a plane flight to Paris when Carrie is there.
So me being all concerned about how this has even come about, that Christina Applegate is trying to do stuff for me…? What the? Ends up that she is in a uni course with my HouseMate and for some reason she feels that this makes her responsible for making me feel better about bad stuff that happens in my life.

This is about the time that my alarm went off and I woke up. Slight smirk on my face cause I love having really vivid and really bizarre dreams. Just as long as they aren’t those dreams where you get confused as to whether they are reality or fiction. Or maybe that is just when I am drunk.

I miss the boy.

Blog Discussion and other ramblings

So, last night I was hanging with the ex last night and it was sensational. Unfortunately I had tonsillitis and couldn’t do anything with him, (yes we are still in love, but lets not go there and get carried away with why we aren’t together, I don’t get it myself). Anyway, we came upon a discussion on blogs and he has been talking about them lately at uni. His argument was that they are totally false and not real and that they were a voyeuristic thing and I guess I a sense a exhibitionist thing.

I really don’t know how I feel about it. I would tend to argue that they were not a voyeuristic thing, but then again, I would have to say that they are. The Bean the other day mentioned that when writing her log, she likes to think that maybe someone out there will read her and contact her with a “you are such a fantastic writer and we want to publish your work”. That is not the reason I write mine. But I have wondered why I do write mine. I think to begin with it was to get caught up in it all and I wanted to see if I could sustain it and to see if people were interested in my life. But I guess my posts are so random and don’t really follow anykind of story line that I think why they hell do I keep writing in it.

On the flatmate side of things. She is being an absolute bitch at the moment and I am really not enjoying living with her, Dopey, her boyfriend is twice as bad and I feel like I am living with him, when in fact he is not paying rent, bills and stealing my stuff. Sneaky prick.

Just thought I would say my favourite blog as well. Hot boys, regular news on entertainment and gay politics and a bit of goss thrown in there http://paris.typepad.com/ check it out, I urge you.

Audition...

So my audition for the course I want to do is a month away!! Exciting! And the staff in the course are apparently asking about me already which is great. Just got emailed the acting monologues to choose from which is VERY exciting! Can not wait! Yay.

Oh, and I won tickets to the Diet Coke 21st birthday party, which may not sound like much but if you have seen the Diet Coke ads with the cabana boys, who will be at the party, you can understand why I am excited.

Weird product of the day is the tattoo sleaves. I am even thinking of getting some. I think they would be kind of funny. A bit expensive for what they are though.

I am sick of Joel Turner. Nova plays his song at least 5 times a day. Ok, it is an ok song, maybe I should just stop listening to Nova?

Yay, home time now. Maybe I will write a better entry tomorrow.

Meant to post this last week.... better than deleting it.

So the freaken internet is now finally up and running!! Phew. It has been a long week without it let me tell you. It is not like I am dependant on it, but it is surprising how cut off you are in an office and how difficult it makes some things. Ok, so maybe picking up a phone book instead of going to www.whitepages.com.au is not actually difficult, but it is damn annoying.

For anyone who may be reading and may have wondered… I did start Capoeira last week. Am enjoying it, but finding it a bit slow with the skills stuff. But maybe that can be expected as it is aimed at a broad range. I can see why so many people stay doing it. Great for building buns of steel I am finding. Lots of squats and stuff. And the abs work!! Whoah!

http://www.pumpkinmasters.com/index.php

Another Friday

Another Friday and my life seems to seriously be flashing before my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I do love the weekends as much as the next guy, but they have been coming around so regularly this this year that it is now October 8th and what do I have to show for the year? I really have been doing nothing!! Yikes. And what is even more depressing is we hit the weekend and I have $25 to my name and that is it! And if I do what I said and start the Capoeira on Monday I need $14 for that, so really I only have $10 left. It just sucks cause I work full time and end up with nothing for my weekends every single time.

I am feeling like having sex this weekend. You ever get those times when you just want to have sex with someone, like someone good looking and decent sex. I have been thinking about it today and now am thinking about it more. And you know what? It ain’t gonna happen. Through lack of trying mostly and also a fear of STD’s and also a guilt for doing anything when I still have all these feelings for my ex, which I am reluctant to talk about to any of my friends anymore as they have heard too much already.

So, last week in Bunbury we met these two german guys. Who knows if they are gay or not? My guess would have been yes when it looked like one kept on staring at me and the other was asking me about Pride and stuff like that. Do you think normal travelers would know about stuff like that? Like a normal backpacker type? My guess would have been no. So I was lead to assume that they were gay. Not that it even matters cause they didn’t really talk much. But my point is that some of my friends told them we would catch up with them and take them out this Friday night cause they are in Perth. But the truth is I never really thought they were serious about it so I went along with it as I do and then they all harassed me when I asked if we were actually going to do something with them on Friday night. Ends up the others aren’t that keen anyway. So why give me shit about doubting it from the start. All seems like a good idea after a few dexies and some beers on a Saturday night. But in reality, we were never going to meet up with them. But who knows what the night ahead holds.

I have also said that I am not going to drink this weekend as I have been sick this week and really want to get better ASAP. But a lady at work has chilled a nice bottle of wine here at work and there is beer here and wine at home… arrrgghh. Got to be strong.

Cigarette count for the week = 1 on Monday! How good am I doing!

Election tomorrow: I think I have decided Mark Latham is the go. Just don’t really like John Howard and his take on the war and shit.

Cute guy of the day Taylor Handley.

Missing Post

How peculiar that may last blog post is missing. I am sure I posted it on Tuesday and it went up without and hitch and now it's nowhere to be seen!! Maybe it was cause I was trying to upload pictures to my blog and it wouldn't work. If anyone knows an easy way, please, please let me know!!

Oh well.

Still feeling sick. Spent the day in bed yesterday with the flu, but it may well be my body catching up from the weekend that I had. Quiet one this weekend I think. I have my neices first birthday on Sunday. Should be interesting, the sister-in-law doesn't want it at home cause she doesn't like other kids in the house. How peculiar. And it is threatening rain so there will be no shelter!

My plan to start Capoeira will start on Monday night I think, when I finally bight the bullet and go down and start a class. It's a begginers class so I am sure it won't be anything bad. I am just concerned about the fact that people won't know who I am and when I start doing stuff they will all make a big deal about it and draw attention to me and that is really not what I want for a first class. If it was everyone starting together it would be different. But I am a little insecure when it comes to starting new things with a new bunch of people.

I am busting for the toilet so am gonna go now.
Check out this link for a full video of the making of Dieux du stade 04